LApstrEz BLoG

A WeBLoG of an Ordinary Geek

Archive for November, 2005

How to Code a Debacle…

Posted by lapstre on November 29, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –

I am a computer science student and I hate lab classes. Sounds strange eh?. We’ll thats because people have me play the role of a debugger/maintenance programmers. I go around correcting each and every person’s mistakes, only to find them mad at me for not paying enough attention. The teachers scold me saying I spoil the class, and the students scold me that I don’t help them enough.

On the job, I often come across hilarious mistakes, Sometimes dumb ones. I wonder why people make the mistakes they do. I’ve always wanted to write a guide book collecting all the silly mistakes people make(Another one of my ambitious virtual ntrepreneurships, I reckond i could be atleast as famous as Charulatha 😉 ). But as usual, I have neither the the experience nor enough technical knowledge to do that. Who’d buy it anyway!

All this rambling because of this particular article on The Hackers Choice, A group of international security experts, which stirred up some memories. The original Article was published on on Roedy Green’s Mindproducts. It’s about how to make your code unmaintainable. The Article written as a joke but in the end you will endup introspecting your programming techniques.

This article is meant to be a joke and you are supposed to learn to correct your styles from it,

NOT follow it blindly and lose your job.

Here are some excerpts:

Never create separate Listeners for each Component. Always have one listener for every button in

your project and simply use massive if…else statements to test for which button was pressed.

In engineering work there are two ways to code. One is to convert all inputs to S.I. (metric)

units of measure, then do your calculations then convert back to various civil units of measure for

output. The other is to maintain the various mixed measure systems throughout. Always choose the

second. It’s the American way!

Go wild with encapsulation and oo. For example:
myPanel.add( getMyButton() );
private JButton getMyButton()
return myButton;
That one probably did not even seem funny. Don’t worry. It will some day.

If a module in a library needs an array to hold an image, just define a static array. Nobody will

ever have an image bigger than 512 x 512, so a fixed-size array is OK. For best precision, make it

an array of doubles. Bonus effect for hiding a 2 Meg static array which causes the program to

exceed the memory of the client’s machine and thrash like crazy even if they never use your


U can read the whole article on THC. The original link is down for some unknown reasons. Also check out The Sun JAVA Coding Conventions. has a excellent article on Google’s expanding power and ambition. Don’t forget to check that out.

And hey if u’ve had ne issues with google talk, leave a comment. I’ve added a new Blog roll of some of my favourite sites, Check it out!.

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A Complete Reversal of Stance!

Posted by lapstre on November 21, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –

The Launch of Microsoft’s Visual Studio 2005 is due in India. My past paranoia is gone, infact I am looking forward to the Launch on December 15th in Chennai. The Reason for the change is still unclear, but i guess the lazy person in me took over. I rejoice thinkin the days when I’ll be able to finish my work in a jiffy and turn to more challenging work. It’ll be launched by the Big B (Bill Gates NOT Amitabh Bachan) at Bangalore on the 9th of December. Some of my friends are planning to go to bangalore for the launch party to see the Big B himself at the event. Inspite of them pestering me to come, I have decided not to go because I know they’re not gonna let me anywhere near 75metres of Bill! Miss ya Bill! We’ll meet for sure, but later…

The Launch party is bound to be big, It’s gonna be held @ Le Meridien in Chennai, and theres a training session immediately after the launch which will be useful to get started. Those willing to register can REGISTER HERE, but pray do so quickly. Remember you’ll need a Microsoft .NET passport to register. If you don’t have it, you can SIGNUP FOR ONE HERE

I’ve made quite a few changes. I’ve added a Rating Section, Also I’ve shifted the counter to the side column instead of in the Long for vista? article as it was before, Don’t be scared about the number, I started off @ 1,420 (Pucca 420!). Not bad, I added the Counter on 28th October,2005 and I have about 125 hits already! Keep the count up guys!

Please Rate my Blog! Also care to leave a Comment!


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The Wonder Laptop

Posted by lapstre on November 18, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –

A Laptop for every kid? Sounds like a dream… Especially in developing or under developed countries. Well, Atleast I thought so till a week ago. But the UN world summit on Information Society changed that all. The Unveiling of the $100(INR 4500) laptop(HDL) could mean revolutionary changes in the way this world learns.

The announcement gains more importance in the view of Google and Microsoft announcing plans to digitise many thousands of books and make them available online for free. Though this includes only books before the 1950s due to copyright issues, this could mean a lot to the children who can read books on the HDL. I’ve personally had issues with reading books on the computer. Unlike normal books its not easy to read books on the computer. The eye strain is one factor, the other being comfort issues. You can’t read stiitng on a couch or lying in bed. Imagine reading in bed with a 15inch monitor on your chest, god forbid you have a 17inch monitor. If u have a 19inch or higher monitor you are probably rich enough to go out buy another laptop for yourself, But then reading with a 3kg laptop on ur chest wouldnt be comfortable either. The HDL’s 7inch monitor is bound to be of lesser weight and more comfortable to read.

But Negroponte’s announcement that the HDL maynot be available for commercial sale for long, and even if it was, it wouldn’t be available for $100 is a cause for woe. The estimated commercial price is said to be around $225. Looks like till then I am stuck with saving to buy a palmtop to read my ebooks, but then they don’t support all the formats, nor are the screens the right size for reading books.Well, Until Somebody comes with a good e-book reader, I am stuck with reading books on the computer

BBC’s Article on the HDL

Photo: AP Photo/Michel Euler
Negroponte’s interview to Wired Magazine

Special Thanks to ImageShack for the Image Hosting Services

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Photos of the Carnage

Posted by lapstre on November 14, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –
Read the rest of this entry »

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For Counter Strike Freaks

Posted by lapstre on November 11, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –

For those Counter Strike fans….Heres sumthin that u shud take – An Addiction TestTake The Test Here
Don’t Forget to post your scores in the Comments
My Score: 56% Addicted
Well as one NOT so famous personality once said…”Life is a Game, But Counter Strike is Serious” – Pritam Ghosh

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End of the Calm, The Storm is yet to pass…

Posted by lapstre on November 11, 2005

Posted Originally on LApstrEz BLoG –

After an easy bout of practical exams, The Main Semester exams are looming up ahead. As usual the last minute frenzy is on. The Microsoft Visual Studio launch passed in our place with no noise whatsoever, except my hysteria, I’m beginning to wonder if i am overdoing it a bit. My friends accuse me of over hyping a ‘just another’ microsoft release, but little do they know what is up ahead.
The rain god had fun with our city last week. He left behind a couple of badly flooded places and took a couple of lives along with him. Tis sad to see he can b so bad and so unruly. Last time couple of times around he took many lives by not being there when he was most needed. Tortured us to the max during the summers without life giving H2O. This time he prefers to stay around too long. We’ll that unruly kid is gone, Leaving us to sort the mess he left behind.
Good old Sun smiles down on the city with his warmth spreading cheers across this storm battered city …

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